Trotsboken

 “He is at that age where he is obstinate about everything,” we parents can sigh in exasperation when our child becomes difficult, obstinate or angry, indeed generally impossible. As if there was just one single age! In fact, life consists of many different periods of obstinate anger. And a good thing too.

Obstinate periods like this lead to maturity and development. In fact one could say that obstinacy and development go hand in hand, that both are necessary.
So there is nothing wrong when your child suddenly is against everything. But it can of course be extremely trying! We worry about how our difficult children will manage to function together with other children and with adults, how our child is going to be received. We accuse ourselves of having been too lenient or too strict. We feel that we have failed as parents and are troubled by a bad conscience. We dreamed of being understanding, mature and wise parents and now here we are standing shouting, punishing, threatening and behaving like three-year-olds ourselves.

We behave obstinately at different periods throughout life! Although we call it by different names in different ages. Already during its first year, a baby has its first ‘difficult age’ and we all know about the problems when the child is 2 to3 years old. And there are new periods at 4, 6, 9 and 12 and of course during teens. And pregnancy too is a period of adapting and questioning for both women and men. And what are 30-year and 40-year crises other than periods of obstinacy and opposition?

This book is about such periods during childhood and teenage years, as well as during pregnancy. There are lots of quotes from parents with difficult children.
This book was first published in 2001 and soon met with considerable success. The response from parents has been enormous. When you are in the middle of a ‘parent-child-crisis’ it is comforting to know that one is not alone with these problems, and to have access to hands-on advice. And it is comforting to be able to laugh a little.